


Fridge Dragon

by crossbow_angel



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Funny, Humor, LSD, One Shot, Other, Recreational Drug Use, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 21:09:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15648990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crossbow_angel/pseuds/crossbow_angel
Summary: Daryl comes home from work and finds Merle high and trying to fight a Dragon guarding the fridge





	Fridge Dragon

 

 

Fridge Dragon

 

“Dixon!” the sound of my name being shouted from the garage office caused me to hit my head on the open hood of the black trans am I was working on

“What?” I replied grumpily rubbing the top of my head

“Phone, something about your brother” Jackson the garage manager replied tossing me the silver cordless phone

“What’s he done this time?” I muttered to myself “Dixon, here”

“You need to come get your brother to calm the fuck down” Celeste our neighbor from across the street and the owner of “Mom & Pop’s” the local diner in town

“What’s he done this time?” I asked sighing

“I don’t know what he’s on but he’s shooting up ya’lls place, I went to see what was going on and he started accusing me of bringing him mutant pancakes this morning, waved a gun in my face” She replied her natural southern accent thick from being upset I could see her in my mind with the phone cradled in her neck with her hand on her hip and a cigarette in the other I was starting to regret asking her to take Merle some breakfast when she went on break this morning while I was getting my morning cup of coffee

“Okay, if you can make sure he doesn’t leave the house, I’ll be there as soon as I finish up with my last car” I told her sighing. Merle’s antics were getting old and tiring. I had a good thing going at this garage, the work wasn’t bad, the pay was good, and I wasn’t about to let him mess it all up

“Okay, but you should hurry before the cops get called,” Celeste told me before hanging up

I shook my head, laying the phone on top of the tall red toolbox beside the car I was working on

“Brother in trouble again?” Jackson asked walking over to me

“Yea” I grunted about to start working again

“Go on and deal with it”

“No, I have to finish this, Merle can wait” I replied

“Go, I was about to send you home any way you have almost 15 hours of overtime” I looked up at him surprised Jackson was a good boss and always fair which was a rare thing nowadays

“You sure?” I couldn’t help but ask Jackson nodded

“Go, Mr. Wilson isn’t in a hurry to get the trans am fixed”

“Thanks, I’ll come in early tomorrow and finish,” I told him wiping my hands off with an oil rag and getting my things together.

 

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

 

When I pulled into the gravel driveway I saw Celeste was sitting in a bright pink lounge chair reading a book on her front porch I waved at her as I turned the key turning off my jet-black Harley she waved back and went back to reading

I could hear Merle talking to himself as I unlocked the door to our run-down trailer I shook my head when I saw Merle crouched behind our turned over couch like he was in a WWII trench a double barrel shotgun in his hands

“Quick Bro before he comes back!” Merle cried aiming the shotgun at our already shot up kitchen multiple round holes covered the door of the fridge and freezer water steadily dripping onto the floor, two cabinet doors hung off their hinges, large pieces of glass that used to be plates and drinking glasses now littered the now cracked countertop

“Merle what the hell!” I shouted at him

“There’s a fucking dragon guarding the fridge!” he shouted back cocking the shotgun “There’s the son of a bitch now!”

“Stop!!” I tried to grab the gun from it, but it was too late the deafening bang of the gun going off caused my ears to ring

“Damn it! I missed, mother fucker!”

“Merle give me the fucking gun now!” I screamed yanking the shotgun out his hands glaring at him tempted to knock the shit out of him with it

“What the hell Darlyna! We have to kill that mother fucker before he steals all the beer!”

“Have you lost your damn mind!” I shouted grabbing his arm and yanking him up off the ground “There is no dragon!”

“Yes, there is! I can see him he’s huge! the bitch from the diner did this! she brought these fucking pancakes that tried to tear my face off!” He insisted, trying to grab the gun and pull me back down behind the turned over couch “I told you she was trouble! Look at my damn arm where one the little assholes bit the shit out of me!” he shoved his arm at me all I could see were cuts from where the glass must have ricocheted back at him from the plates “it was a good thing I had my pistol on the counter before it could take a bigger chunk out of me” he continued “Damn thing had teeth long as my dick! Then the fucking dragon came out of nowhere! He breaths cotton candy and tried to smother me with it!!”  

“Merle shut up, You don’t like her because she wouldn’t screw you, you need to go lay down and sleep whatever shit you took off before I knock your stupid ass out with my fist” I growled yanking him back up and shoving him towards the door of his bedroom roughly anger and frustration rushing through my veins the repairs to the kitchen was going to take at least a whole paycheck and if our landlord got wind of this he would kick our asses out in a heartbeat and then it would be dirty musty motels again which is not what I wanted.

I started sweeping up the pieces of glass on the floor and clean up splattered remains of what appeared to be pancakes and eggs off the walls muttering different curses under my breath when suddenly I heard multiple gunshots from Merle’s bedroom

“Damn it, Merle!” I shouted throwing the dishtowel into the sink and walking towards Merle’s bedroom and tried to turn the doorknob “Merle open the door!” I shouted there was no reply so I stepped back and kicked the door as hard as I could, the wooden door splintered loudly and slammed open Merle threw a lamp towards me I ducked just in time “What the fuck!”

“Shit, I thought you were one of the short-bearded shits in the yard” he replied

“You thought I was a fucking Garden Gnome?” I said shaking my head

“yea! Damn thing came through the window and tried to bite me!” I looked up at the ceiling which was full of holes taking a deep breath and counting to 10 in my mind

“I want all of the guns and knives” I ordered him in a low voice Merle glared at me

“I ain’t giving you my shit!” he replied “You ain’t leaving me defenseless against the bearded fucker hiding somewhere, if you were smart you would help me find him”

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath before opening them

“Okay Bro where did you last see him?” Merle smiled at me, then turned and pointed at his closet “Okay, you open the door and I’ll shoot him kay?” I told him he nodded as he slowly walked up to the door I quickly pulled a syringe full of Ketamine out of my back pocket and stabbed him in the back of the neck pushing the blunger down Merle spun around and punched me in the mouth knocking me down before collapsing on the floor

Rubbing my bruised jaw, I pulled Merle up onto his bed turned him on his side stuffing some pillowed behind him

“Stupid ass, first a fucking dragon guarding the fridge then garden gnomes……” I muttered slamming the door behind me.

 


End file.
